I Need a Partner

I really need a partner. I need some one that shares my ideas and enthusiasm. Someone that will get excited about my schemes and jump in to help me get them accomplished.

I guess I am an ideas girl. I just need someone to help me with follow through. But you know what they say, Those with big ideas, should do small things. That is me.

If I could just focus on getting small things done well and consistently, I could do great things! Father, open my eyes to see the small things.

Maybe, it is all the times in my past that people have called me weird that still haunt me. Every time, I try to explain an idea to my husband, I feel like he just thinks I'm a flake. This cute, lil blonde who can't possibly understand the big thoughts she is thinking.

I need someone, whom I feel respected by, to partner up and tell me that I can. Where said person exists, I do not  know. Until I find them, I will have to encourage myself with affirmations, psalms and Les Brown videos on YouTube.

Utterly Discouraged

Yep. Today, I have been feeling like nothing can go right. I think I have recited my affirmations at least twice, all the way through. And I am thinking, I need to do it again. I did make some earrings. It was fun as long as the lil ones were not crawling all over me. Now that they are sleep, I feel like I can have a complete thought.

Why does my husband hate work so much?! What is so horrible about getting up and using your talents to create something real or get a job done? Ugh! I am frustrated with myself for being frustrated with him. I am supposed to be "in control of my thoughts and emotions". Not today. They ruled me like a taskmaster. I am exhausted from being so upset. Disappointed at the lack of progress that I am making in business and personal life. I thought we were getting somewhere in our relationship, but after today, it feels like back to square one.

Maybe, I am being a bit over dramatic. We have been making such strides to work on growing together that something had to come and show us we are not finished yet. After the ups, come the downs, such is the pulse that declares life. And the beat goes on.

I want to blog

That title pretty much says it.

I want to be able to write creatively and people to hang off my every word. I want to inspire or encourage by my varied musings. But, often, I am too scared to pour my piddly, ignorant thoughts out where people can see them and judge me. I know that I think differently than what current American culture would like you to think.

I am not a writer. Punctuation and grammar are memories from grade school. But I have thoughts and an opinion and, sometimes, they need a safe place to come out. A place to be expressed knowing that possibly someone might come across them and read and agree or not.

My husband is a writer. Words fly though his psyche like lightning. I have tried asking him to write for me, but we don't exactly think at all alike. He has no interest in, well, anything, that I enjoy. But to be fair, my only interest in Warcraft is simply that it interests my dear husband. I have grown to not be quite so jealous of those darn Legos and Hot Wheels.

My desire to write, partly, stems from the idea that it would be an awesome, fun way to earn a bit of income from home. But, also, it would be great to be the one to offer that one bit of advice or incite at just the right time.

It seems like everybody has more knowledge than me on everything, but I'm not looking for a job. Just an avenue to feel accomplished. Maybe, I can do that one post at a time.